He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
