we have officially lost it.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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