At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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