Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
