Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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