You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
