I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
