it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
