I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
