I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
