it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
