I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
