she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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