News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
