is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
