repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
