I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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