just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
