**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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