Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
false alarm, still single
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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