I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
