it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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