Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
