btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
