She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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