I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize