no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
vagina is talking i cant
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
