I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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