One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
