After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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