For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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