I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize