i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
