i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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