so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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