Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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