meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
