I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
