I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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