i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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