We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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