shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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