i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
