Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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