sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
