So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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