On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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