1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
