Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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