It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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