At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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