Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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