You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
