you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
