he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
