You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If that was your dad, he is hot
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
